Amma saw a delightful box under the tree. The card said, “For Amma. From Santa. HOW YOUR MIND WORKS.” That sounded very interesting. She untied the ribbon and opened it up. Inside the box there was metacognition, confirmation bias, cognitive flexibility, and common sense. She had never received such a gift as this!
“Metacognition is being conscious of your own consciousness”
Metacognition was the coolest thing ever. Did she know that there were two basic dimensions of her mind? One part of her mind could be aware of another part of her mind. Her mind could be conscious of being conscious. In other words, she could think about thinking. No one really knows what thoughts are made of (some come in words and some come in images) or where they even come from. What is known is that there is a difference between thinking a thought and believing a thought. A thought is like a snowflake, it has no power whatsoever, unless a person believes the thought. The fact that Amma could say to herself “I am believing a thought” meant she was not the thought. The thought was not her. If she could “step back”, mentally, from a thought, then it could not be her.
So, Amma may not have a lot of power regarding the arriving of thoughts, but she did have, in turned out, a whole lot of power regarding the believing of them or not. In fact, this choice was like a super power that she hadn’t even known she had had before finding her metacognition. It really was the coolest thing ever!
“Confirmation bias is seeing the world through the lens of one’s own beliefs”
Confirmation bias was also cool. Amma found out that people see the world through the lens of their beliefs, like wearing a pair of belief glasses. So, people look for proof of their beliefs without knowing that they are doing this! In other words, people find what they are looking for without necessarily realizing that they are doing this. “Quidquid recipitur ad modum recipientis recipitur.” This is a Latin phrase that means: whatever is received is received according to the manner of the receiver. We confirm our own biases. In other words, we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.
Cognitive flexibility was super wonderful and really quite fun. Amma could change her very own mind! And, it turned out, that when she did this, she had many more choices and much more happiness to chose from!
“Cognitive flexibility is about approaching new problems in a systematic way, separate various components, and consider alternative solutions”
Common sense was there as a reminder to continue to do what she had always done naturally. Amma could continue to understand herself through her own efforts, she could continue to help herself using common sense. In other words, her observations provided her with powerful evidence that in the course of her development she had acquired highly refined, sophisticated techniques for dealing with the intricacies of her animate and inanimate environment! Of course here and there she made mistakes in appraising a situation or her own capabilities. She encountered problems for which she had no ready-made solutions and was often required to make decisions without having been provided with adequate information. Nonetheless, she was able to use her mind to make split-second corrections, to discern, interpret, and predict. She could approach new problems in a systematic way, separate various components, and consider alternative solutions.
“By questioning your thoughts, you are giving yourself a gift!”
The box from Santa was about the basics. The unconscious part of Amma’s mind and the conscious part of her mind. It turns out that when a person knows that there are these two basic parts of their mind, they will suffer less, they will be happier. It turns out that when we live out of the unconscious part of our mind, unknowingly, innocently, we can suffer. It is not that you should think more positively or that you should change your thoughts. It is that by questioning your thoughts, you are giving yourself a gift. That gift is this: a choice. Is there another way to think about it? A better way to think about it?
“Mind is where happiness comes from, if only we know how it works”
I would love to be Santa Claus. I would bring toys, as is his custom, but I would also give each child knowledge of how their minds work. This would show children that their mind matters. It would also show to them that their mind is where happiness comes from, if only they knew how it works. It would place them in the role of a scientist of themselves. It would be such a magical gift to receive! When we are young we are gathering our beliefs, our story of ourselves and of the world. I wish we would be taught that we actually have power over our beliefs, so that they don’t have power over us, so that we don’t waste a lot of time in our lives believing things that simply are not true. If I were Santa Claus this is the gift I would give to all the children on earth.
Happy holidays to everyone in the MINDWELTH family. It is an absolute privilege to work with all of you!
Dr. Robin Barstow is a psychotherapist, writer, speaker, and founder of MINDWELTH, a Holistic Mental Health private practice. Driven by her goal of helping people to suffer less, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the foundation of her social work. She also practices CBT on herself daily, and that experience informs her understanding of this profound, practical method. Robin Barstow holds a MA from Columbia University, a PhD from Yale University, and LCSW from the University of Maine. She has extensive training and knowledge from working inpatient and outpatient, with both children and adults. Her hobbies include swimming in the sea, knitting and traveling. Read More >>
Robin Barstow, LCSW, MA, PhD
MINDWELTH
207-664-4482
5 Fletcher Street, suite 201, Kennebunk, ME 04043
mindwelth@gmail.com
Website: https://mindwelth.com/
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